Yearbook... WARNING: a little depressing...

[Johnna]

Hey guys...

Well, today I have midterms at school. Today is also my last day of yearbook.
A few days ago I told Mrs. Campeau that I was going to quit yearbook next semester. She told me she thought it was a good idea. I've been in yearbook for three years now... so this is really hard for me. :sad024:Poor Mrs. Campeau wasn't sure what to do... I started sobbing and saying that I didn't want to leave... but she said that it's an extremely stressful class, and that I should be putting my health before yearbook. .........Then I got a massive bloody nose and had to run to the restroom. >_>;;;; (Darn sinuses!)
Because she's been my teacher for three years, she's really seen me go downhill both physically and emotionally since she first met me. She's told me that she's not mad or upset with me for leaving, and is more concerned with my wellbeing... and despite that I can't help but cry right now. I mean... I was there for three years! I'm going to miss it SO terribly! However... I also can't wait to leave. I've come to dread going to that class every day now. I've been there longer than anyone else... but now I feel like the veteran that has lost her flair. I can't think or work as well or as quickly as the class requires... how I used to. I don't even have any friends in that class. But I wanted so BADLY to make my Senior yearbook... soooo badly.
:angry018:
(I know you guys will be able to understand what I'm about to say, some understand even better than I do... I know it's not just me this is happening to.)
I feel like this is just another thing that EDS and everything else has taken away from me! It took away my ability to participate in theatre first... then it snatched Color Guard away... then it stole my ability to simply hang out with friends... and now it's taking yearbook! Those were all places I actually felt I BELONGED. I just.... UGH!!!!! :angry003: Is it ever going to freaking STOP? I'm so SICK and TIRED of being sick and tired!
/end rant. Sorry about that.
So anyway... I have to go to yearbook now... and spend THREE awkward and painful hours there. I have no doubt that I'm going to have an emotional breakdown in front of everybody. The midterm won't take three hours... after we finish the midterm I may just come home... then go back when it's time for my English midterm. Bah. -____-

-Johnna

[SunsetParadise19]

Johnna I know how you feel....I had to give up marching band because of becoming sick. I finished my second season (somehow lol) and then didn't return in 11th grade. I also had to give up dancing which I had been doing since I was 3 (I got sick when I was 15). But you gotta do what's best for you, girl! I know it's hard but someday you'll realize even more that you made a good decision. (((hugs))) If you need to talk more feel free to give me a call! I haven't been online much so it would be better to call lol.

[Timeless]

*Gives lots of hugs* l may not know what it feels like in perspective of health, however l had my whole childhood virtually stolen by bullies, in fact l dont even have proper qualifications because l didnt want to spend more days in school being a physical and verbal punching bag... altho l must admit now its interesting to see how those annoying ppl who made my life hell back then react to the difference now.. all of them are short and me tall and a little more well built...

sadly tho l'll never get those years back, but at least l have one thing to look forward to, l still have friends and l get to talk to them whenever l want online every day :)

[ReineDeLaSeine14]

Timeless: I dealt with the bully thing too...still am in therapy *sigh*

I know how you feel too Johnna. I had to give up singing first...then work...then being able to travel. I miss it a lot...but I've found other things...like making cards and stuff that I don't think I would have ever done before.

When God closes a door, He always opens a window.

HUGS!!!!

[Timeless]

Timeless: I dealt with the bully thing too...still am in therapy *sigh*

:( its one of those things.. kids are nasty ppl its sad but true to an extent, in any case now lm old enough to know better and at the same time get by with ppl who caused me so much anguish because l know that to them now l might seem like the larger taller person who they dont wanna mess with... (l might have those looks but generally lm a softie who prefers to only mingle with his friends but look mean to all those who dont know me :D l cant help it tho my face just kinda droops and goes into frown mode allot)

[SunsetParadise19]

I was bullied in middle school by some girls in my class (sections). My mom called my reading teacher who kept all the girls in my section in at lunch once a week until things settled down. Then I was bullied (online) by a girl in marching band........that turned into a who fiasco and I'm not getting into it lol.

[Timeless]

my problem was l was told l was a liar it stuck l ended up having to deal with things myself.. altho l suppose that being the case lm a much stronger person now because of it, then again being a guy lm somewhat the type who tends to deal with things on my own...

as for online, l dunno lm told lm too trusting and kind online but my instincts have led me astray yet any probs lve run into have been caused by a friend of a friend (not getting into that one either lol) but in general l tend to come off as the type of person who has a long fuse but at the same time somehow most seem to just lay off when they see me bare teeth :D honestly lve had no problems l guess somehow tech speak works (helped quite a few friends from online bullying, feel free to contact me if this happens again.. usually a chat from me mostly ends things like that ^_^ and l offer all members the same why? because l hate ppl who harass others they remind me of those spammers and trolls lve had to deal with in the past who have no respect for anyone :()

[SunsetParadise19]

Thanks Timeless! If someone starts something with me, now I know who to turn to haha!

[Timeless]

indeed... the friendly neighbourhood timer :P (err as close as l could get to a spiderman pun lol)

[Roosa]

I feel sorry for you and I know how you feel.. There are so many things that EDS has taken away from all of us.. I must say that I don't know well what is yearbook.. I think we don't have that in Finland so it's difficult to say anything what could help..

[stacekins]

I totally understand about feeling the losses that EDS has caused. I've lost so much of what my life was going to be that I don't know what direction to go in now. Its kind of sad cause I used to be a more trusting person and more of a softie, but after being burned (not gonna go into that saga) in a relationship due to EDS I've become kinda cynical. I really hate that EDS has taken away my ability to trust easily in many different ways. Its made me loose faith in a lot of things.

Its not only physically taken things away, its taken things away from me emotionally as well. :sad024:

[anthrdmnvegetarian]

I totally understand!
I had to give up art school because I get so sick all the time. I'm "homeschooled" for now but I will probably be getting my GED soon. I totally understand how you feel about leaving where you belong. *hugs*

Hang in there,
Bethany

[Johnna]

:thanks: for your replies, everyone... it really helped. :smile:

I know what you mean about being burned, Staci. One of my very close friends (WAS a close friend, anyway) spread around my school that I was a hypochondriac and/or faking it.

[stacekins]

Sorry to hear that it happened to you Johnna. Its not fun to have that happen with someone that you thought you could trust and really cared about you...whether it be a friend or a boyfriend/girlfriend.

[xxBrittany]

Wow. I know EXACTLY what this is like.
Just remember, you are not the only one going through these similar things.
AND if you ever need us, you know how to get ahold of us!