Uncomfortable Relationship

[littleoksana]

I have a bit of an odd topic.. I know I don't post very much on EDS sites, I just never caught on. I'm not diagnosed, my doctor did a few observations and wanted me to go to a genetic counselor. My mother was diagnosed a few years ago with hyper mobility and has MVP.

I've always had pains, especially in school with my ankles and elbows. It became hard to write some times and I would take a lot of painkillers and wear wrist braces. When I was in college I had pains so bad and I went through many medicines for anxiety and my heart but nothing seemed to help.
I stopped going to school and got a job and I feel better but I still have bruises and accidents from work often. I can exercise a little too (before it was too much) and I dropped some weight.

But now I'm in my first serious relationship and I realize that I have a problem cuddling.. I cannot hold or lay down comfortably with my boyfriend. I feel slight discomfort or sometimes pain or the coming of pain and I need to move and turn every few minutes. He is very understanding, especially if we're kissing and my jaw pops. My jaw also tries to dislocate if I smile while chewing (does anyone else?..) so he knows not to amuse me at meals.
I feel frustrated and so does he, even when he understands it hurts him and we've argued a few times.. I want to know if this is normal for EDS to not tolerate joint pressure like cuddling or if its something else..

Thankyou for responses or questions that will help

[SunsetParadise19]

I wish I had something to offer but I am having major brain fog right now...hopefully someone will have some advice for you!

*hugs*

btw, I hope you don't mind I moved your post.

[xxBrittany]

I know exactly what your going through as I am having these troubles myself. It's very hard to lay down with my boyfriend and cuddle because no matter which way I lay, something always hurts. When we kiss, my jaw pops out a lot too. I have restless leg syndrome so when we are laying down I am constantly moving my legs and know it gets on his nerves. But I know if he really loves me like he say he does, he'll understand how we can be uncomfortable at times especially during romantic moments etc. I have slight brain fog as well right now, but I hope this somewhat helps.
:smile:

Take Care. Hope to talk to you soon!

[ReineDeLaSeine14]

My jaw dislocates on the left side if I laugh too hard or yawn.

Yes I have cuddle problems...that's when foam pillows come in...it's like you're on a cloud...just put pillows all over your cuddle object and it's like he/she became a nice...cuddle chair :)

[Timeless]

err l dont know if l should say something, especially since lm more of an outsider, however it sounds like your boyfriend is very understanding and as such it might be worth inviting him here, or just chat more about what you are experiencing, l honestly think that knowing things out in the open means one can accept what you may consider a problem.

l myself even tho lm in the dark with regards to eds (lets face it lve only done little more than help out with the setting up of this new permanent version of edskids) that from some of the threads l have read l understand that as a illness (sorry if thats the wrong word usage) it is very debilitating knowing this from a outside perspective l feel very understanding and putting myself in his perspective l would feel ld have to be as such.. obviously arguments happen however as a couple being informed is the best thing a couple can be, well hypothetically speaking if l was with someone with EDS l would be not only doubling my effort here to find out more but ld also feel the need to actively be involved in the significant others health..

in any case l hope lve made sense as l feel a little out of place in part, but lm told l give good relationship advice and me being me, just had to say something helpful even tho my love life seems to be somewhat of a minefield of what could possibly be nukes..

[xxBrittany]

aw. timeless what you wrote was so meaningful and made tons of sense! :)

[Katherine]

i dont have trouble cuddling, i find myself in what people think are 'awkward' positions but actually work out more comfortable for me - maybe because of the flexibility or something :s

the pillow idea sounds good tho :)

[Timeless]

aw. timeless what you wrote was so meaningful and made tons of sense! :)

:blush:

in any case l think lve found better words now, a relationship takes two, as such for any relationship to work being on the same level of understanding rather being in the dark... arguments are often result of misinterpretation or just a misunderstanding, when a couple is on the same level and of equal perspective all that there should be room for is the living of the rest of their lives together feeling happy :) (god lm full of interpretations tonight :D)

[stacekins]

Timeless, you have an amazing way with words. I think the advise you gave is wonderful and holds very true not only for a relationship with someone with health issues, but with any relationship.

I'm not one to give advise often cause my love life is pretty non-existent right now and its been a bit like a minefield with nukes too.

[xxBrittany]

:)

[Chiara]

You can kick me after you read this XD
I have a beautiful boyfriend which understands me and me with HEDS
sometimes I feel very painfully and tired...
well yesterday evening he took me and carried me up the stairs...wawww...
He's perfect..... :P
we argue sometimes, I think it is quite normal in a couple...
:)

[xxBrittany]

Aw, that is SO adorable.
:)

I have an amazing boyfriend as well, who does so much for me it's amazing.

I am glad you have someone that cares, loves and understands you!:smile: